I apologize. I lived a lesson about expectations recently, but I wasn’t ready to share it. Honestly, the lesson still stung.
I think as well, I was worried. I was worried that in comparison to the grand disappointments of life, this would seem simple, small, and that my reaction would be judged childish. Trust me; our family has had some of those truly life-altering disappointments too. I do know the difference. So, sweeping pride aside and casting myself on your mercy, here I am. And, here we go.
Two weeks ago, we left on vacation. We are not the sort of family that goes on vacation frequently, or annually. We probably haven’t really been on a vacation in six, maybe seven years. The last handful of years have been full of family obligations and financial trials, and while we don’t regret taking care of our parents or older relatives, it also has not left much time to forge memories with our own nearly-grown kids. We planned and scrimped. Six months ago, I stayed up till midnight to reserve a camping spot that is famously hard to book, our family’s favorite river-side tent spot. We even had the car worked on, trying to prevent any problems. Plans were made. Routes were drawn. Hearts were set.
And then, on the weekend of Labor Day, nine hours into our trip, we found ourselves waving goodbye to the AAA towing guy. He left us at a McDonalds in a very small dot on the map, somewhere above Sacramento, and somewhere south of Redding. “Good luck!” he shouted, as he pulled out of the parking lot, headed for the next person waiting on the side of the I-5. It was going to be Tuesday before anyone could look at our vehicle, Wednesday before the part could be ordered, Thursday before we could get back on the road. Our vacation was, for all intents and purposes, gone.
Now, did God have a plan for this trip – oh Yes, He did. It turned out that there was someone important to visit, time that really needed to be spent, love that needed to be given. It was crystal clear from the moment this all began that there was a bigger plan in place. Yet, my heart clung to the disappointment.
I tried for a week to “get over” it – to submit it to God. But no matter how much I prayed, or read, no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment. I felt like so much had been taken – like it was the last straw on the camel’s back. I just could not shake the mood. This little thing was becoming a spiritual battle.
Soon, as it tends to do, Sunday rolled around. As my family got ready to head out to church, I just didn’t want to go. You know, there are just days you don’t want to deal with everyone being all loving and nice! I figured at least 20 people were going to ask, “So, how was your vacation?” or some version of that, and I didn’t have the energy to explain, or the will to be light-hearted about it. Maybe I should just stay home? Oh, how insidious are the lies of the enemy!
I wish I could tell you it was a victory that I went to church, but in fact it was just duty. I realized it was my Sunday to lock up – I had to go! Yet, as I slipped into the pew between my son and my husband, with the strains of praise music beginning, I knew this was exactly where I needed to be. The songs that morning were songs of trust, faith, joy, and praise – just as they always are. Yet they spoke healing and right attitude to my soul. The praise of our great God put all of my little earthly concerns in correct perspective, and snapped my eyes right back into focus on Him. He touched my heart, straightened out the kinks in my attitude, and righted my course during that service.
Praise is an act of obedience, sometimes. Yet it always brings blessing, because it focuses our faith on Him, and takes our spiritual eyes off of our selves. Just when we need the body of Christ, the enemy would like to keep us away from them, because it is while a part of that greater body that we are the most powerful as a force for Jesus in this world.
Surrendering self is hard, if that is where my focus is. But putting Jesus first is easy – He is winsome, His burden is light. That’s what I learned this week. I must focus less on me, even in the surrendering of me. My place is behind Him, following Jesus. If I get that right, everything else will fall in place! Like Isaiah, when I get a good look at the Lord, surrender is sure to follow.
Isaiah 6:1-8, “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory.”
At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Amen!
Blessings,
Cara & Patti
Classic Christianity
I think as well, I was worried. I was worried that in comparison to the grand disappointments of life, this would seem simple, small, and that my reaction would be judged childish. Trust me; our family has had some of those truly life-altering disappointments too. I do know the difference. So, sweeping pride aside and casting myself on your mercy, here I am. And, here we go.
Two weeks ago, we left on vacation. We are not the sort of family that goes on vacation frequently, or annually. We probably haven’t really been on a vacation in six, maybe seven years. The last handful of years have been full of family obligations and financial trials, and while we don’t regret taking care of our parents or older relatives, it also has not left much time to forge memories with our own nearly-grown kids. We planned and scrimped. Six months ago, I stayed up till midnight to reserve a camping spot that is famously hard to book, our family’s favorite river-side tent spot. We even had the car worked on, trying to prevent any problems. Plans were made. Routes were drawn. Hearts were set.
And then, on the weekend of Labor Day, nine hours into our trip, we found ourselves waving goodbye to the AAA towing guy. He left us at a McDonalds in a very small dot on the map, somewhere above Sacramento, and somewhere south of Redding. “Good luck!” he shouted, as he pulled out of the parking lot, headed for the next person waiting on the side of the I-5. It was going to be Tuesday before anyone could look at our vehicle, Wednesday before the part could be ordered, Thursday before we could get back on the road. Our vacation was, for all intents and purposes, gone.
Now, did God have a plan for this trip – oh Yes, He did. It turned out that there was someone important to visit, time that really needed to be spent, love that needed to be given. It was crystal clear from the moment this all began that there was a bigger plan in place. Yet, my heart clung to the disappointment.
I tried for a week to “get over” it – to submit it to God. But no matter how much I prayed, or read, no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment. I felt like so much had been taken – like it was the last straw on the camel’s back. I just could not shake the mood. This little thing was becoming a spiritual battle.
Soon, as it tends to do, Sunday rolled around. As my family got ready to head out to church, I just didn’t want to go. You know, there are just days you don’t want to deal with everyone being all loving and nice! I figured at least 20 people were going to ask, “So, how was your vacation?” or some version of that, and I didn’t have the energy to explain, or the will to be light-hearted about it. Maybe I should just stay home? Oh, how insidious are the lies of the enemy!
I wish I could tell you it was a victory that I went to church, but in fact it was just duty. I realized it was my Sunday to lock up – I had to go! Yet, as I slipped into the pew between my son and my husband, with the strains of praise music beginning, I knew this was exactly where I needed to be. The songs that morning were songs of trust, faith, joy, and praise – just as they always are. Yet they spoke healing and right attitude to my soul. The praise of our great God put all of my little earthly concerns in correct perspective, and snapped my eyes right back into focus on Him. He touched my heart, straightened out the kinks in my attitude, and righted my course during that service.
Praise is an act of obedience, sometimes. Yet it always brings blessing, because it focuses our faith on Him, and takes our spiritual eyes off of our selves. Just when we need the body of Christ, the enemy would like to keep us away from them, because it is while a part of that greater body that we are the most powerful as a force for Jesus in this world.
Surrendering self is hard, if that is where my focus is. But putting Jesus first is easy – He is winsome, His burden is light. That’s what I learned this week. I must focus less on me, even in the surrendering of me. My place is behind Him, following Jesus. If I get that right, everything else will fall in place! Like Isaiah, when I get a good look at the Lord, surrender is sure to follow.
Isaiah 6:1-8, “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory.”
At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Amen!
Blessings,
Cara & Patti
Classic Christianity
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